The drop-off, and what helps at the door

The hardest two minutes of a preschool morning are not in the classroom. They are in the doorway.

Short is kinder than gentle

A long goodbye is not a gentler one, it is a longer one. Every return to the door restarts the moment, and the child has to do the hard part again from the beginning.

One hug, one sentence that says when you are coming back, and then out. The sentence matters more than the hug: “after snack” or “after the garden” means something to a three-year-old. “Later” does not.

Hand over to the teacher, not to the room

Walking a crying child to a shelf and hoping they get interested rarely works. Handing them to an adult who is already waiting, and who says their name, almost always does.

Nine times out of ten the crying stops before the lift arrives. We would tell you if it did not.

If it goes on longer

• Ask for the ten o'clock photo. Most families stop needing it after a week.
• Keep the same person doing the drop-off for a fortnight.
• Tell us what the morning is like at home. That is usually the useful half of the picture.